There is no turning back…
It has all come down to this moment of clarification. This very choice, this very thought, is something that I will learn to live my life on… i cannot go back now…
Perhaps it has been pure infatuation all this while, just that I was too drugged by this sensation. I could take on any challenges head on without fear or hesitation, but it comes to wooing a girl, I’m always hitting a dead end on the road.
She and I may share some similarities, but when it comes to ideals and principle, we may not hit the right note there. This is the lesson that I managed to learn during this period of time trying to woo her. I have always believed in pushing myself forward, challenging myself to a greater level, but it seems that she does not share my optimistic views, already deciding to just park it there… without the drive to excel better…
So now wooing her may be out of the question, but one matter still burns in my mind. Are we still friends? I think the proper question would be "Are we still considered friends?" If we are, then do friends not say hi to each other, or at least make an effort to meet and greet whenever we can?
"sigh"… it seems that there won’t be a future for us… a shame indeed… thank god the hurt wasn’t deep enough to knock me off balance. The pain will be there, but I will manage. This isn’t the first time I was hit by a speeding bullet through my heart. I’m not even sure we can still maintain the same closeness that we felt when we were close friends. Oh how I will miss those days…
At any rate, the decision has been made. It is done… I can never turn back from the choice that I have made… Whether I will regret or not, that will be another question in the near future. Her birthday will be coming soon, and I will keep my promise of making her birthday special…Perhaps when the time comes, I would be able to meet a girl whom I can really share my ideals with… As for her case… if worse comes to worse, she might just be……… someone that I once knew in university… I’m sorry…
