Memoirs Of A Homo Sapien

In life, we make a lot of choices… some good… some bad… some with bearable consequences… some that haunt us for the rest of our lives…

I have made plenty of choices in my 22 years of existence, and these same choices is what made me what I am today. The same goes with friendship. Although it is an extremely rare incident that I have to choose either to maintain a friendship, or just let it go… and let bygones be bygones.

Perhaps the time has come, for me to make a very painful admission… Our friendship has hit rock bottom. The fire has burnt out. I just know it. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it. I kept on thinking that there was some way to salvage it back, but i was wrong…

It’s hard to imagine that it would end like this… we were from two different worlds. I have always believed that there’s always a reason behind every choice, every meeting, every beginning, every ending… THEN WHY IN THE GODDAMN WORLD DID OUR FRIENDSHIP OCCUR!!! WHY!!! WAS THIS SUPPOSE TO BE A TEST?! CAUSE IF THIS WAS  SOME SORT OF A TEST, THEN OBVIOUSLY I HAVE FAILED!!! SO WHY EVEN BOTHER ADMINISTERING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

"sigh"… a choice will have to be made… whether it will haunt me or not, i would not know. However, I just don’t understand her behavior behind it… just last semester, the flare was there… now… it was as if someone purposely put it out… is she doing this to let me know that she is not worth it? Why does she keep pushing me away now? So that I won’t know her true mask? oh please…

However… if she just used me as a cannon fodder, a judas goat, or just to seek someone’s attention, which turns out to be me… then I will never forgive her… I for one will never forgive a person who uses me… especially someone whom I considered a very close friend… I have always remain true to her, cared for her, comforted her in times of need… if this is the treatment that she gives me… I can’t bear to imagine the anger inside of me…

At least now… it’s less one burden… but if she’s willing to explain her distancing herself from me… I am willing to indulge myself… then we will go our separate ways…

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 29th, 2007 at 9:28 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.