Memoirs Of A Homo Sapien

How can i describe my feelings that I am feeling for her now……… How can i relay my anxiety to another person so that i can at least understand what i am going through……

I guess maybe its because i have doubts about what I am feeling for her now. Maybe its because the fear of facing another rejection is just too great for me to handle. I should give myself one slap across my face for thinking like that.

Then again…. she’s something else. I’m not sure how can i explain this feeling that I am experiencing now. Most of the time, she gives me the "cold shoulder treatment", of cause its clearly understandable since i can only meet her during lectures, and the best time for us to be truly alone is when we were in the library studying together, where we actually "talk".

Initially, i have blamed her for being this cold to me. But then, i always think that maybe she is also under a lot of stress, and we are almost in the same situation.Of cause I have no right to compare her situation with mine.

Oh well…. i know what i must do. I have to earn a place in the honour’s list. I want to make myself proud, but i especially want to make my mom proud of me, for i have already failed her twice. There can be no third mistake for me…..

But one thing i can be sure of now…… even though i have been very busy, i know that deep down inside, there is a form of happiness that i have always longed for…… so now i am thankful to have make this choice, and i am not going to screw up again….. ever……